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Alberta Energy Minister Sonya Savage.jpg

Meanwhile in Canada, Alberta’s Energy Minister Sonya Savage Fantasizes About Spewing Covid-19 on Protesters

I obtained this painting two weeks ago, right around the time Savage humourlessly mused about how it is an excellent time to be building pipelines. The pandemic has limited gathering sizes to under fifteen people, peaceful protest is much more difficult, and if you’re not willing to exploit a global tragedy for corporate interests can you really call yourself a conservative?


Sonya likely got the idea of using deadly biological agents to achieve imperialist aims from Canada’s vibrant history of ongoing genocide. As we all know, history forms the character of a nation. Bring up the 1972 Summit Series with anyone over 60 years old and watch their eyes roll back in their head as they jizz all over the inside of their pants.


There is a fear in Sonya’s eyes. Her dream will shatter if, despite Tyler Shandro’s attempts to kneecap the healthcare system, Alberta becomes safe enough to share a box of chicken nuggets with fifteen of your best lads. Luckily there’s a newly robust system of unconstitutional provincial law to quell free speech. On May 29th, just as America began redrawing itself along the odious fault lines of whether or not human life is more valuable than the windows of a Target, Alberta legislature passed Bill 1. Bill 1 is vague enough that legally you could be fined $25 000 and go to jail for six months for peacefully protesting the dearth of sour in the sweet and sour sauce from a McDonalds parking lot.


If this seems like a massive waste of resources, take solace in the fact that as always the law will be inconsistently applied so as to suit the murky needs and explicit prejudices of politicians, judges, and the police (the gang, not the band). That’s why it takes nearly 35 weeks to become a cop, almost nine months longer than it takes to become a certified auctioneer.


To paint all this as a harbinger of an oppressive dystopia might be to unfairly conflate the newly minted American police state to the south with cozy old Canada. Prime Minister Trudeau has acknowledged systemic racism as an ongoing issue south of the border and in Canada. After all, he has felt the plight of Black Canadians on at least three documented occasions. And yet he backtracked on a commitment release the action plan on missing and murdered indigenous women and girls report this month. I suppose Canada may not disagree with deep, unreconciled white supremacy in practice, but at least we do in principle. And if that’s not enough, well, what’s the worst that could happen?


Anyway, the painting is 4ft x 5ft, mixed media on canvas. Message me, make a fat donation to an organization that is helping to create a future where we will be able to look our grandchildren in the eyes, and I’ll drop it right off. 

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