Kenney Claus Gives Aussies Coal for Christmas

Christmas came early for two Australian mining concerns when a towering nude Kenney penetrated Alberta’s mountain vista like the Mundare sausage and gifted them coal leases in over 1800 hectares for $66 562.62. His ill-fitting Santa beard was made of the snow-white pubes trimmed from William “Bible Bill” Aberhart’s preserved corpse deep in the catacombs of the Legislature. He spewed a tainted geyser onto a litter of foreign plutocrats mewling in ecstasy with that nasally velvet national accent of theirs.

 

The $66 000 will go straight towards funding the ‘War Room’ for a whopping 19 hours. Only 1.98 million more hectares until it’s paid in full up to 2023! Thanks to our fire-sale corporate tax rate we keep none of the profits, but our doctorless province gets to be on the forefront of the black lung treatment via Tim Horton’s drive thru industry. Alternatively, they’ve entered the final phase of the plan to expand the syphilitic colony of Neo-Sydney (Banff) to include everything west of the foothills.

 

MERRY CHRISTMAS

3ftx4ft, mixed media on canvas. Would look great in your bedroom

Dec 21

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