Minister of Labour and Immigration Jason Copping
7/13/20- This is a painting of one of the many Jasons that riddle the UCP like cold sores on a frat boy, minister of labour and immigration Jason Copping. He is proudly posing in front of his magnum opus Bill 32: Restoring Balance in Alberta’s Workplace. For too long employees have viciously bullied their bosses into absurd concessions like “overtime” and “not getting maimed on the job”. As long as such protections have existed, abstract corporate personhood has yearned for a manifest avatar to ensure that their right to profit is seen as equal to a human’s right to a safe, comfortable workplace. Jason Copping is their scabby batman.
Before politics Copping spent his life in middle management, a purgatory of mediocrity. His flat suit barely textured by his washed out translucent soul, he spent his inconsequential days roasting fetid tuna in the break room toaster oven and drifting office to office, silent howls causing the fluorescent lights to flicker. As a daywalker, he is firmly at the base of the uncanny valley between business and humanity. Jason Copping is man and not man. To humans he is repulsive like a corpse, but repulsive precisely because he is a human corpse, which for a politician in Alberta is not too shabby.
The omnibus bill introduces employer friendly changes that will make Alberta a beacon of inhumanity in an ocean of hopelessness. Finally I can force a 13 year old to work a 12 hour shift with nothing but four fifteen minute breaks for below minimum wage with no overtime. The need for five Monterey chicken taquitos dipped in a coffee cup of petroleum based queso cheese doesn’t sleep, and neither should you, Ryder.
And if Ryder, Jaden, and Selenium try to start a union, I’ll just bring in some scabs to replace them (Ridyr, Haden, and Bromine) and there’s literally nothing they can do about it. Besides, what have unions ever done for us? Weekends? Paid vacations? The 8-hour work day? Sick leave? Minimum wage? Pregnancy and parental leave? Overtime pay? Occupational health and safety? 40 hour work week? Worker’s compensation? Wrongful termination laws? Anti-sexual harassment laws? Holiday pay? That might have been all well and good before we were facing the biggest GDP decline in our history, but the only way to get Alberta back to work in 2020 is to have the lowest employment standards in the country.
This 3ftx3ft acrylic on canvas painting will set the perfect back drop to your mass 200 person layoff, abrupt and arbitrary termination of seasonal contracts, and using their tender flesh to snub out your cigars (technically not allowed but now you’re able to shout them down by screaming “where’s the proof?!?!)