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The United Conservative Party getting married to a coffin full of nickels by a slot machine in the neon pandemic fever dream of a casino

This is a painting of the United Conservative Party getting married to a coffin full of nickels by a slot machine in the neon pandemic fever dream of a casino.

The UCP: the rigid and unmalleable end table for an abandoned smoldering cigar, chaste, virginal. Coffin Full of Nickels: incorrigible and motivated. it was love at first sight. A summer of shy, flirtatious curiosity. A will-they-won’t-they waltz of barroom dalliances and waterpark exploits. Finally, their passion unbridled and a moist and breathless second wave of passion swept them away

The sum of the love between UCP and Coffin Full of Nickels is greater than its parts. They never needed to compromise in life or love, to choose between sacrificing humans and sacrificing the economy. They sacrificed them both.

Hand in coffinhand, they kneecapped the economy while hospitals filled and oxygen dwindled. They laid off tens of thousands of workers, are forced everyone else to languish in ¼ capacity purgatory until we get our grubby hooves on the non-mandatory vaccine for a virus we’ve repeatedly been told isn’t even that bad anyway so why bother. Nighttime was an exercise in psychic edging as they rode the exponential curve of carnal expectation from separate beds. And tonight, the night of their wedding, comes the little death.

The slot machine/priest is flanked by gorgeous blossoming wild roses on the right, and to the left the weeping face of rural Alberta, deemed too fucking stupid by the government to comply with a simple mask law. 3ft x 4ft, acrylic on canvas

Nov 30